Easy Paddle I Paid For

Sometimes you just want to get out on the water and have fun. I dressed myself at school yesterday, giving my middle-school students a good laugh at seeing their teacher in a rash guard and wetsuit. Then I set off for a relatively short Friday afternoon paddle. The weather was rainy and ugly, and I was going to stay near shore just on case of lighting.

Sometimes you're just not in the mood to push it. I definitely wasn't, so I paddled easily. The tide was coming in rather hard and the light winds were from the other direction. As my habit, I had my GPS program running, but I regretted it. It kept urging me on -- Go faster, Ian! Go faster! But my heart wasn't in it. I just wanted to paddle.

The payoff was when there was almost no wind. Then I could hear the gurgle of my paddle dipping into the water and the dribble of the water rushing past the hull of my board. Yeah I could still hear Metro North and the cars on Route 9, but there was a lively sense of calm. Just me out on the water, feeling it.

There's that split feeling inside me. On the one hand I feel like I should be training and getting better. This has had a grip on me the past year or so, especially since I've been using that GPS app. But there are times when it's all about the flow, when it's all about just letting it happen out there on the water. If I want to go fast, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. At 46, I really shouldn't have to feel like I need to prove myself anymore.

That night I felt the paddle in my lower back. I actually regard that as a good thing. There was a little pain, but mostly because that's one of the parts of my body which chronically needs exercise. Hopefully I'll get out tomorrow too. Then it'll be almost a three exercise-session week.